How to Captivate Your Audience

Syndicated with permission from Agorapulse, this was a live interview conducted by Jennifer Watson.

Struggling to get your brand heard online? Need to stand out from the other social media managers and agencies? We’ve got tips from Stephanie Liu about how to captivate your audience.

Do you ever wonder how some people seem to effortlessly command authority when speaking?

In this post, we’ll explore a technique you can use to boost your confidence and captivate your audience whether you’re speaking on stage, on live video, or in person.

On a recent episode of Social Pulse Weekly, I sat down with Stephanie Liu, founder of Captivate on Command and the host of Lights, Camera, Live!, to find out how she uses NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to captivate her audience.

Stephanie is a Master Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner and co-author of the upcoming book “Ultimate Guide to Social Media Marketing.” She helps brands communicate with confidence, so they can ignite their ideas and be brilliant for prospects and customers alike.

Stephanie is a wealth of information regarding communication, confidence, and live streaming, so I know you’ll enjoy her insights as much as I did.

Q. What exactly is NLP, and how did you get started with it?

Stephanie Liu: 

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of human excellence by exploring the connection between neurological processes (“neuro”), language (“linguistic”), and experiential behaviors (“programming”).

Think of it as the user’s manual for the brain.

We have a strategy for everything that we do in life. We have a strategy for how we pitch clients, how we motivate ourselves to do something, how we resolve or even avoid conflicts.

When you understand how your mind works, you can then analyze which programs are helping you reach your goals or putting the brakes on your success.

What NLP does is provide the methods and technology for the “how to” of managing our thoughts.

And the reason why this is so important is because just like water, we don’t go a day without communicating.

Just imagine how much easier life would be if you could instantly decode a client’s communication style. You’d be able to pitch your product or service more effectively. If you could get clients to make decisions swiftly and quickly, would there be any reason why you wouldn’t want to learn NLP?

When I discovered NLP, it was during my ad agency days. As the Director of Social Strategy, I was a part of the pitch team and that meant whenever we had to meet a new client, I would represent our social media services division on behalf of the agency. Knowing how to instantly create rapport with prospective clients and how to seal the deal using only your words was the main reason why I decided to become an NLP Practitioner, then a Master Practitioner, then a Trainer - the rest is history!

Q. You have a degree in cognitive psychology, so this is nothing new to you. How does cognitive psychology and NLP work together?

Stephanie Liu: Cognitive psychology is the science of how we think. It’s concerned with our inner mental processes such as attention, perception, memory, action planning, and language. Each of these components are pivotal in forming who we are and how we behave.

And because NLP focuses on our thought patterns and behaviors, understanding another person’s point of view and why they think and act the way that they do is just as important.

In the corporate world, when you move into a management position, your responsibility is no longer about completing set tasks - it’s about managing people to ensure they complete their set tasks. Everyone is different and what motivates an employee might not work for other members on your team.

When you take the time to understand your team’s core values, then aligning their work with their passions comes intuitively; and as a result, they feel more fulfilled.

Q. How do you apply all this knowledge about psychology and NLP to understand where people are coming from, and what they want?

Stephanie Liu: I’ll give you the perfect example. When I was launching my Lights, Camera, Live signature program, I got an email from a prospective student asking for more information about the course. I knew that if I just responded back with a PDF outlining everything, that wasn’t going to satisfy her, and it wasn’t going to win the sale.

Just by reading her email, I could tell that she was the type of person who was very, very detail-oriented, and the more detail I could give her in my response, the better rapport I would have with her. When I replied back, I laid out the roadmap for the program, included FAQs, and encouraged her to keep asking questions so that she could feel confident in her decision. She’s now launched her own Instagram Live show and is consistently getting repeat business.

There was another time when I was staying at an AirBnB and the host was a salesman at a luxury car dealership. He knew that I was in town for NLP Training and started to get curious about NLP just like you are right now. He asked if NLP could be used in personal relationships to which I replied, “Yes!”

A few days earlier, he met an attractive woman on a dating app and he really wanted to pursue a relationship with her. We talked about how important communication styles are and we went through their conversations to pick up clues. Based on her predicates, we determined that she was kinesthetic and that he should incorporate more kinesthetic keywords in order to build rapport.

We started talking more about NLP and why most couples fail because their values aren’t aligned when suddenly, the woman he was interested stopped messaging him back.

When I asked what happened, he said that she mentioned feeling uncomfortable and stopped responding to his messages. He kept messaging back and when he showed me his phone, this is what he said, “‘OK, sounds like there’s a problem. Go ahead and give me a call and let’s discuss it.”

He switched communication styles and went directly into business mode because that’s his default programming. That kind of response works great in sales, but in a personal relationship, you to have to shift your communication style to get the results you want.

Q. How can we keep from getting overwhelmed so we can get everything done?

Stephanie Liu: “There’s an NLP technique called chaining anchors, which helps you move from the present state to the desired state. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I ask myself what emotional state do I have to be in, to get me out of feeling overwhelmed.

Then I start to seek opportunities that will get me to that emotional state—in this case, excitement. Once I start to feel excited, I feel more confident. And when I’m confident, I start to feel powerful. And when I’m powerful, I can do anything!

Q. Let’s say you’re having a really bad morning. You slept through your alarm, and things just aren’t going your way. How do you pivot from “This is a crappy day” to “Let’s make this the best day ever?”

Stephanie Liu: Your attitude determines your altitude in life. The other day, I was feeling off my game because my 4-year-old was up all night coughing and sneezing. Then in the morning, we ran out of coffee. It was just a terrible start to the day. But I really didn’t want my day to be like that, so I said, ‘Let’s go ahead and hit the reset button.’ I restarted my day. That’s one of the things I do to take charge of my mindset. I

You are in charge of your mind and therefore your results.

Q. We recently had the amazing Amy Landino on the show to talk about her book “Good Morning, Good Life.” Do you have any morning or evening rituals that set you up for success?

Stephanie Liu: There’s a ritual I do with my daughter every night because I know that throughout the day, she’s getting suggestions from the radio, music, and commercials, and her unconscious mind is listening to it. I want to make sure all the suggestions she’s getting in her life are positive.

So every night, we say, ‘Dear unconscious mind, you know the suggestions that are good for me and those that are bad. Please keep the ones that are good, and delete the ones that aren’t.’ I want her mind to know which values are good and which are bad, and to wake up every morning and just remember, ‘My mommy and daddy love me, no matter what.'

Q. You have an amazing live show. How do you use your research and trainings to make your live show and on-stage presence better? Is there anything you always do before you get on stage?

Stephanie Liu: Yes! Whenever I speak, I stomp on the stage. To me, it’s creating an anchor onto that stage that says, ‘I own this. This stage doesn’t scare me.’ Whatever happened on that stage before doesn’t matter; if there was another presenter on the stage before me who totally bombed, I’m clearing the air, clearing the space. It’s putting my own energy on it.

I also use a lot of storytelling to put my audience into a trance-like state. I know your brain’s going to pause on that for a second! To understand what I mean by a trance, here’s an example: When you’re in the car driving somewhere, and you don’t know how you got to your destination because your movements are running on automatic. You experienced trance. There’s a reason radio commercials are still a thing! Any of the commercials that are happening during that trance-like state are going into your unconscious mind.

When I’m on stage telling a story, there are little bits of embedded commands I plug in. By the way, you know when your audience is in a trance because they will not move. Their eyes are glued to you. It’s the craziest thing because you can see them fall deeper and deeper into a trance-like state. So that’s one of the things I do a lot on stage: hypnosis. I’m a trained hypnotherapist, and if you ever watch any of my courses, it’s all in there.

Earlier I talked about the idea of chaining anchors: how to get from feeling overwhelmed to feeling powerful. You can do the same thing when you’re giving a presentation. What are the stories you have to tell to get your audience from frustrated, to confident to powerful?

The other thing I do is have anchors on stage. If I want my audience to feel frustrated, there’s a certain part of the stage I’m working on. I’ll say, ‘Remember that time? Isn’t that frustrating? Don’t you want to feel more confident?’ I’m putting my anchors where they are. If I ever want to tell you something positive, it’s always going to be on one side of the stage, and if it’s anything bad, it’s going to be the other side.

Someone [in the comments] mentioned the importance of future pacing yourself before a presentation. But you can also future pace your audience. For instance, you could say something like: ‘You’ve just spent the past 25 minutes learning a little bit about NLP. Now just imagine what you could actually do once you get trained. Think of all the opportunities and doors that are going to open to you.

Q. Your workflow is amazing! What are the top 3 apps you use to make yourself more productive?

Stephanie Liu: First of all, I love Agorapulse. When I’m livestreaming, the comments pop up rapidly, and having Agorapulse on my phone makes it so much easier. I love to engage with my audience. If they know that I’m going to instantly comment back to them, it triggers all those happy brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Having Agorapulse on my phone allows me to create that rapport deeper with my audience.

My other favorite app is Messenger. I love talking to people, and I like the voice functionality Messenger has. As a trained hypnotherapist, it’s really easy for me to talk to people and get to the root of the problem so I can help them out. Messenger is really helpful for this.

Another tool I love is the Shortcuts app. I’m usually running from one event to another. So to have shortcuts that tell my husband, ‘Hey, I’m on my way home. Do you want something for dinner?’ or ‘Can I get directions to the next event?’ is brilliant to me.

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Q. What are some gadgets or tech gear you can’t live without?

Stephanie Liu: The camera I’m using to livestream right now is the Panasonic Lumix GH5, and it’s a complete game-changer … but it’s also super-heavy. So I also have the DJI Osmo Pocket, which is a camera and gimbal all in one. It’s cool because it follows me around, so I can use it for vlogging too.

Another gadget I love is the controller wheel that attaches to the Osmo (which can be found as part of this set) because I can use it to move the camera around the way I want.

The Osmo is the only gadget I bring with me now. Whenever I’m filming for clients on set or going to an event, it’s just the easiest thing to bring. It’s everything.

Q. What other gear do you use for your live show?

Stephanie Liu: I would definitely recommend going for a DSLR camera or the BRIO 4K webcam. I absolutely love it. It gives me a different look that really stands out on the newsfeed.Stream Deck It’s one of those things that will pique someone’s curiosity and make them want to stop in the feed and listen to what you have to say.

The second piece of gear I use is Ecamm for livestreaming. It’s a complete game-changer for me because I can customize it and brand it the way I want to. For instance, if I want to do a pattern interrupt, I can drag a funny video or GIF into Ecamm and it works seamlessly.

The third piece of equipment I can’t live without would have to be my Stream Deck. It’s set up to the different scenes I have in my livestreams. If I want it to go to my intro, I’ll click a button and it shoots my intro. If I want it to play a trailer or testimonial, I can also do that. I even have a button programmed so that when I go live, it’ll automatically send out a tweet letting my followers know I’m on.

Q. What advice do you have for anyone who wants to be more positive and motivated?

Stephanie Liu: The best way to start is to think of all the situations in your life where you felt really, really motivated. What did you see? Who was there? Was there a person cheering you on? Was it something you wore? What did you see, hear, feel? What did you say to make yourself feel more motivated?

Once you’re actually in that emotional state, create another anchor. For instance, all the confident stuff I’ve ever had in my life, I anchored in my wrist. Pick a part of your body, so that when you want to feel motivated, you can tug on it and create the sensation of, ‘OK, I want to get this done.’

When I feel really confident, that’s when I stack that anchor. For instance, I’ll stack it with a memory of killing it on stage, or when I won the biggest deal ever. And I keep stacking it so that it becomes a very, very strong anchor for me.

Q. If someone is interested in NLP, where do they get certified? Can people hire you?

Stephanie Liu: Yes, absolutely. We offer NLP Practitioner Certification training that includes hypnotherapy, Time Line Therapy®, and NLP Coaching. It’s a 7-day training where you are completely immersed in NLP and have an opportunity to clear out any negative beliefs you’ve been holding on to.

It’s kind of like live streaming - when you do it for the first time, it feels like you’re walking on a tight rope. But when you do it in a safe setting with other people that are learning with you, then learning comes to you easily and intuitively.

I also teach agencies as well as sales teams on how to leverage NLP. Even if you’re doing customer service, it’s important to know how to diffuse a situation. It’s about negotiation and mediation. There are some unhappy customers that want to complain - how do you avoid letting that negative energy impact you the rest of the day? With NLP, you’ll know exactly how.