I had the honor of seeing Dia Bondi speak at this year’s Womens Venture Summit, and she reminded me of something that every communicator, leader, and speaker needs to hear: the power of a bold ask.
At first glance, her book
Ask Like an Auctioneer might seem like a guide to fundraising or negotiation. But underneath the surface, it’s a masterclass in one of the most underdeveloped skills in communication, the ability to ask powerfully.
Whether you’re delivering a keynote, pitching your business, or leading a team meeting, your success depends on one thing: the courage to ask big and the skill to ask well.
Most people prepare for presentations by tightening their slides or refining their delivery.
Few stop to ask the deeper question:
What am I actually asking for?
Bondi argues that almost every act of communication contains an “ask.”
You might be asking for attention, trust, action, or belief. Yet when we hesitate to make that ask clear, out of fear of rejection or self-doubt, we unconsciously pull back our energy.
Our voice softens.
Our message loses conviction.
In public speaking, this hesitation reads instantly.
Audiences don’t just hear words, they feel permission. When you withhold permission from yourself to ask boldly, they mirror that restraint right back to you.
An auctioneer steps on stage with one mission: to invite energy into motion.
Every sentence is an ask, confident, rhythmic, and precise. Bondi breaks this skill into four elements that translate beautifully to speaking:
- Clarify: Know exactly what you’re asking for, the shift, insight, or action you want to inspire.
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Quantify: Define the value. Why does your idea matter, and to whom?
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Announce: Declare your intention early. A strong opening line signals authority and presence.
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Invite: Make your audience feel like participants, not spectators. You’re not pushing, you’re pulling them in.
This isn’t about performance.
It’s about presence.
The moment you claim you “ask,”
your delivery changes.
Your energy aligns.
You stop performing for approval and start leading with conviction.
The fear of “no” runs deep. For many professionals, it’s tied to the belief that asking for more, more attention, more belief, more commitment, feels self-serving.
Bondi reframes it differently: asking is an act of clarity. It’s a form of service.
When you speak from this mindset, your “ask” becomes a gift.
You’re offering direction, transformation, and purpose.
This mirrors one of Captivate on Command’s core principles, that true influence comes from grounded confidence, not force.
Great speakers don’t just transmit ideas, they invite participation.
They build momentum the way an auctioneer does, with rhythm, pacing, and emotional calibration.
This is also the foundation of NLP-based communication. Every powerful ask requires reading energy, matching it, and then leading it forward, a process of influence that feels natural, not manipulative.
When you learn to ask with presence, your audience doesn’t experience persuasion; they experience alignment.
Before your next presentation, try this three-step exercise:
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Define your true ask.
What do you want your audience to do, believe, or feel by the end of your talk?
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State it aloud with authority.
Say it as if you’re speaking to a room that already trusts you. Notice how your tone shifts when you remove hesitation.
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Hold the silence.
Like a skilled auctioneer, allow space for your ask to land. Influence lives in the pauses, not the noise.
Every time you speak, you’re asking for something: attention, belief, or action.
But when you make that ask from a place of calm confidence and grounded purpose, it no longer feels like a demand. It feels like leadership.
That’s the heart of Ask Like an Auctioneer, and the hidden key to captivating on command.
